Grief is isolating. Maybe you’ve lost your life partner and you’re now living alone. Maybe you’ve lost a parent and are feeling like an orphan. Maybe you’ve lost a dog and are taking your daily walks alone. Maybe you’ve lost your best friend and have no one to call when you really need to talk. Whoever you’ve lost, grief makes you lonely.

Now we’re living through a health crisis called the Coronavirus. I read new mandates every day that restrict our ability to go out in the world and interact. They’re sensible guidelines in the face of so much uncertainty but this adds another layer of loneliness on top of grief. When your human interaction comes from a trip to the store, or picking up a carryout meal, or going to a library, these virus precautions are punishing to your psyche.

My daily life hasn’t changed a great deal. I already work from home. I’m already an introvert. I already have a million projects that can keep me occupied inside my house. But there is a cloud over me anyway, as though I’m suddenly trapped here. If I’m feeling that way without fresh grief, without living alone, I can only imagine how much more of a struggle it is for some of you now.

We’ve stepped into a crazy science fiction novel that is now our real lives. We can hope this change is not permanent and that, like viruses and plagues of the past, we’ll move through it as a healthy human population. But you are grieving now, and this is already a lot to bear. Please keep your preparations simple, your worry triggers minimal, and your grief work regular. Read, journal, walk outside, make phone calls, go for a drive if you can. Life is filled with beautiful moments and dark struggles. We will cycle around to joy again. Meanwhile, take good care of your soul and don’t be surprised to feel more than the ordinary struggle. We are all here in this together, even remotely.

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Letting Go Of Expectations In Grief

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