Steps you can take to help move through grief:

•  feel your feelings

• communicate with your loved one (written, aloud, or in thought) even if it feels  pointless

• journal (this can just be a notebook with random feelings)

• talk to other grievers

• read grief books

• attend a support group

• self-care (rest a lot, meditate, gentle exercise, healthy foods)

• spend time alone when you need it

• spend time with others when you want to (even just on the telephone helps)

• be selfish (listen to your own needs)

• discover your own tools that work just for you (I started watching QVC because I knew nothing painful would happen there)

You will find suggestions on each of these individual items in the index of the book or you can simply do them your own way. These are the steps you take to get through the process of grieving. There is no order or special way; you let your internal guide tell you which of these items you can handle in a day. Some of these activities will be needed in the early stages of grief, and some are useful throughout your life. The key is to learn to listen to the quiet, intuitive instruction that is built into all of us so that you can meet your own needs at any stage.

—Excerpt from “Companion”

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