It hurts to watch someone grieve. What can you do for the person you love when they’re filled with pain? Like much of grief, there’s no magic fix, no special words, no cake you can bake that will make it all better. It leaves us feeling useless at a time when the person we love needs help the most. But there are some small things you can do to provide relief, and most grievers find big support in even a moment’s reprieve.
Sit with them even if you have nothing to say
Listen. Let them talk or cry. Don’t judge
Spend the night in their home if they’re comfortable with it
Keep their household running – food in the kitchen, towels washed, floors swept
Give their children a reprieve from being around grief
Walk with them
Research and provide information: local grief groups, counselors, grief books
Put food in the kitchen that can be eaten without effort: cooked vegetables, hard boiled eggs, cheese, fruit, crackers
Get them out, even if only for an hour. Natural settings are best
Check in daily. A text is fine. Ask how they’re doing today, tell them you’d like to stop by, tell them you love them
Give hugs
Ask if they need financial help
Give them a grief-related gift
Most of all, pay attention and trust them. If they say they don’t want company, don’t force it. Remind them that grief is the hardest thing we’ll feel but it’s human. We all face it eventually. And it’s true that we do slog through and get better, a little bit at a time. You’ll need a thick skin to support the griever in your life. We grievers can be mean, and intolerant, and find fault in everything. Remember we’re just hurting and somewhere deep, we still love and appreciate you. Thank you for caring.
More:
What To Do With Belongings When Someone You Love Dies
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